Body Dissatisfaction at Puberty
December 5, 2011 § 32 Comments
Almost everyone will agree that puberty is a tumultuous time, rich in contradictions and budding possibilities. Body image is a big issue with most children moving into puberty since it involves body changes and normal weight gain, especially fat. Normal fat functions to keep the body warm and to fuel future growth and endocrine function. However, most teens perceive this normal weight gain as something negative, which has led some into eating disorders and the onset of body dissatisfaction.
Generally speaking, body dissatisfaction involves the beliefs, feelings, and perceptions a woman holds about her body in relationship to the current trending cultural ideal of beauty in the Western world, being underweight. Researchers have identified three stages in a woman’s lifespan where body dissatisfaction peaks: puberty, pregnancy, and menopause. These life stages seem to be more vulnerable because they each involve physiological changes in the body.
Historically, body size and body curves began to shrink in the Western world in the late 1960′s, as beauty became equated with thinness. Studies have since found that the gap between actual weight and ideal weight has continued to widen up until the present time, with obesity becoming epidemic. Being underweight is still the ideal, so when a teenage girl gains normal weight during puberty, it can be the trigger that leads to a temporary state of body dissatisfaction or the beginning of a lifetime of body dissatisfaction. Other factors involved include peer pressure and an individual’s emotional and physical rate of maturation.
If you are a woman, did you experience body dissatisfaction in the teen years? If you have daughters, have you noticed any signs of body dissatisfaction? If so, have you found ways to counter the current cultural ideal of striving to stay underweight?
Such an important blog, Maureena. I think it has so many layers to it. I was just noticing the other day that at (almost) 60, I am probably a little heavier than I have ever been and yet I feel happy and nourished in my body. I recently talked to a friend who’s about my age who said she was trying to be the same weight she was when she was 18. I really didn’t know how to respond. Somehow, tho, it made me feel sad. (Plus
I wonder what she WANTED to weigh when she was 18! She probably thought she was too fat then too) It’s not that I don’t have struggles around this issue or haven’t decided to work out a little more and eat a little more balanced to lose some of the extra bulk. But I feel happy in myself for the 1st time and am not desperate to shave some away. Just interested to see as I commit to now health goals if I can do it and stay with the spirit of self-love.
The spirit of self-love goes a long way towards supporting our health and well-being Vicki. Feeling at peace with our body and body shape can be difficult when we do not meet society’s ideal.
I remember when I was 13 and gained weight that had me feeling uncomfortable with myself and how I looked in my clothes. Fortunately for me, I was able to drop some of those pounds over the summer before starting high school, so I felt less self-conscious, but I have always been aware of my weight and feel best when I am at what I consider my ideal weight! Now that I am getting older I know my metabolism has slowed down, so try to make sure I get enough exercise to counter that. I don’t think the super skinny look is at all attractive, but having roles around the waist is not attractive either! I have always envied those people who seem to be able to eat whatever they want and never gain a pound, but I believe that having a positive body image is also affected by how other people react to you — if you experience positive and loving feedback even when you are a few pounds overweight, you are more likely to accept yourself.
As adults, with a little life experience under our belts, it’s easier to see the limits of popular trends or to comprehend how the body changes over time. Thanks for sharing your teenage experience, Donna.
Thanks for further discussion of this important topic, Maureena. Teenaged girls today are bombarded with unrealistic, unhealthy images of what constitutes the “perfect body.” Parents need to keep communication as open as possible with their kids and model healthy behavior. I don’t have any daughters, but even my son asks me at times if I think he’s fat. (He’s a bean pole!) We need to keep talking about this very important issue. Thank you for this.
You’re absolutely right Cory. Although this series discusses body dissatisfaction in the lives of females from childhood to old age, the male’s experience is no doubt similar. It’s so important for parents to instill and cultivate in their children a positive sense of self. They do this best through their empathetic interaction with their child and by modeling a positive self and body image which the child can emulate.
I had never liked my body and the stages you mentioned just added to the dissatisfaction. I am now learning to love myself as I am. I could lose weight and I am slowly but I’m learning to love myself and let go of judgments. I know the rest will follow.
Julieanne Case
Always from the heart!
Reconnecting you to your Original Blueprint, Your Essence, Your Joy| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | The Reconnection| AgeLoc Skin Care | Pharmanex Supplements
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Julieanne, you speak for many women today. It does get easier to let go of self-judgements as we get older.
This is an incredibly important topic! I’m so happy to see a clear presentation of this issue. I had many body issues well before puberty, having been an overweight child with a weight-obsessed mother. My body troubles did not stop with the teen years. My step-daughter went through a period of losing too much weight, and it was with great relief that I saw her rebalance herself and adopt a more positive attitude. Not only is this problem a misery to our country and culture, but we are spreading it–girls in some areas that used to honor curvy female bodies started to binge and purge when tv came to them and they watched shows like 90210 and Ally McBeal.
Thanks for your great post. Would love to see the message spread.
Judy Stone-Goldman
The Reflective Writer
http://www.thereflectivewriter.com
Personal-Professional Balance Through Writing
Judy, thank you Judy for sharing your personal struggle since childhood. In my previous post dated Dec 1, I discussed how the seeds of long-term body dissatisfaction are planted in childhood and are often linked to a parent’s negative view of his or her body. Daughter’s usually adopt mom’s viewpoint. You also make a good point about how our culture’s obsession with thinness has impacted other cultures negatively.
Boy oh boy, did I ever. And still do to some extent although I have been working on that my entire life. Mine was a direct result of the message I got from my parents, not my peers (although there was that too). I have a natural belly, part of how I was built. From the time I can remember, I was told I was fat. I never became underweight but no matter how thin I got, I never felt less than fat. It’s gotten worse in our culture as time has gone by. Today I am learning, still learning to love myself just as I am.
Susan Berland
A Picture’s Worth
http://susan-berland.com
Thank you for sharing your poignant story, Susan. Clinically, I have encountered so many adults who still suffer from the negative messages they were subjected to in childhood. It is a form of verbal and emotional abuse and it’s power to wound is significant. Sadly, in most instances self-loathing is passed on from one generation to the next.
Having 14 and 11 year old daughters I am very sensitive about this issue. My 14 year old is perfect but is not underweight and does occasionally mention being a little dissatisfied. We have talked about it and I see no signs of an eating disorder as yet. We eat all meals together (except school lunches) and I encourage healthy eating. I never really had an issue as a teen – except a couple of silly attempts to diet which lasted about five minutes as I like food. However, I have gained quite a lot of weight over the last year and do want to get back to eating more healthily and moving more. I refuse to ‘diet’ as I don’t want my girls to think that’s the way to go. Having said that, I don’t hate myself in any way. I just don’t want to get as big as my mum and her mum before her.
Louise Edington
Breaking Through Frontiers
http://louiseedington.com
Eating together as a family is a wonderful way to model healthy eating. Being able to dialogue with your teen and preteen about normal weight vs. the trending cultural ideal is so important Louise because their peers will be talking about it too. Here’s where your perspective as an adult can help counterbalance their peer’s limited perspectives around body issues.
Yes, I was definitely dissatisfied as a teen – even though I was a perfectly normal weight. Definitely longed for that perfectly flat stomach (which I’ve come to believe is not natural for most women and not necessarily healthy). I have a teenage son, so I don’t think I deal with the issues that many people who have girls do. On top of that he’s very athletic and seems to be able to eat whatever he wants. What his father and I are trying to teach is that just because you can eat loads of fried food and ice cream without it having an effect on your weight, doesn’t mean you want to eat like that all the time. That to be healthy, whatever your weight, involves eating a variety of foods, including lots of fruits and vegetables, and we want to create habits now that will stand us in good stead for the rest of our lives. Not sure how much is going in that teenage brain though…
About the “perfectly flat stomach” which often comes with a “booty”–in Korean Constitutional Medicine, that body shape is a physiological characteristic of the Soeumin constitutional type which indicates a strong Kidney/Bladder Meridian and Organ system coupled with a less strong Stomach/Spleen Meridan and Organ system. In other words, you are naturally shaped a certain way depending on which organ systems are dominant. It’s the pear-shaped figure and it seems to be the trending standard of beauty and has led some women to surgically change their shape. Keep up the good dialogue with your son!
I don’t know if I’ve ever been satisfied with my body. I look back at my high school photos and wish I could be “fat” like that again. The sad thing is that I can look at pics of me as a size 4 and still see the areas of weight that I’d wanted to lose back then. My daughter (almost 4 yrs) is a competitive dancer and while she’s not heavy, she is chunkier than most of the other dancers on her team. But she knows her choreography and is the best at the splits. I do worry about her body image as she continues dancing and found myself feeling sorry for a very overweight girl in one of the dance classes at the recital over the weekend. I’m more concerned about raising her to have a healthy body image when it’s something I’ve never had.
Thanks for the interesting insights, Maureena. I’ll agree that women go through more dramatic hormonal changes than men do, but to be fair, let’s realize that each of us winds up coping with some feelings of dissatisfaction with our body. Boys as well as girls, men as well as women. I suspect people in all cultures are striving for a so-called “healthy physique”. Especially (but not only) adolescents who try so hard to fit in with their peers.
I enjoy reading your responses to our comments. Opening my eyes here and there.
Thanks Robbie, your comment about the striving of all cultures for a “healthy physique”
reminded me of my astonishment at something a news reporter mentioned when covering the story about the lone man and his dog who chose to stay in their home after the tsunami in Japan. The gentleman was about 70 and he was so physically fit that the reporter felt moved to explain that ‘He has the physique of a farmer’ or something close to that. My thoughts were, we should all be so fortunate to be that fit in our 70′s. Fitness and health as the cultural ideal needs to be cultivated. I wonder what has become of the farmer–a very sad story.
Love the topic. When I was growing up, I was always a ‘tomboy’, playing lots of sports. So my body was always fairly strong, broad shoulders, etc. But looking back, I know I thought that I was not skinny- not that I was fat, but just that I wasn’t thin.
Trying to analyze it now, I think that because I was athletic, I wasn’t “girly-girly” thin and that was more the issue I think for me in my body image. I think that image has kept with me even to this day (even being over 60) because I can look back at pictures of me over the years and I certainly don’t look like I thought I looked! So, our perception is not always the truth.
Now I know I need to lose weight, not because of the body image but because I can’t move a quickly on a tennis court!
Candace Davenport
http://www.ourlittlebooks.com ~ Little Books with a Big Message
An athletic body is not going to be skinny because of its ability to build muscle. Skinny bodies are often undernourished because their digestive system is not able to extract enough nutrients to build muscle, according to Traditional Chinese Medicine. So, you could not have matched the cultural ideal unless you had developed an eating disorder which would have still left you with a large frame. What a conundrum!
You are so right that body image is such an issue in this country. I entered puberty early – and got to experience the weight gain that went along with it before I was ready for any of it. Thus began the cycle of fighting with my body image. It wasn’t until nearly 4 years ago when I started focusing on health and energy that I was able to let that go. I’ve also worried about how to teach my daughter (who is 12) how to have a positive body image. Turning my own ideas around and walking the talk has been imperative. We’ve also focused on being active and having the health to be able to do the things we want. The next big step is that I’ve started running so we can do 5Ks together (running is her sport – not mine!) to stay connected and to focus on health, not weight.
Jennifer Peek
http://findyournewgroove.com
The Freedom to Build Your Business Your Way
Jennifer, studies have shown that girls who entered puberty earlier than their peers had a larger body size than those who matured later. It was the difference in body size compared to their undeveloped peers that triggered body dissatisfaction for some and eating disorders for others. So sad that normal developmental phases for girls can be a negative experience. Delighted to read that you are focusing on health and energy now, modeling healthy behaviors for your daughter!
I grew up in a diferent time and place. I was in an all girls school in England and I don’t think I even weighed myself until I was about 16. But we were collectively way thinner than a collection of teenage girls today. We did not have a 30% plus obesity rate which is what I understand the current kids are battling. I hate Barbie with a passion – never had one myself. I like the American Girl dolls for my daughters – a much healthier image and stories. We eat every meal except school lunches with our kids and they are a good weight so far. I am also grateful that we live in a place where they can walk/bike to school. I see TV / magazine body images as a big challenge and I also see lack of exercise and highly processed foods as a big challenge. It is a day by day decision to cook from scratch, make exercise a part of their lives (without them necesarilly realizing it) and keep healthy snacks as the first option. If I am dieting myself I don’t talk about it – don’t want to give them that role model.
You describe a very realistic approach to healthy eating and activity Abigail. Keep up the good work. It takes so much focus to stay on track because eating habits and physical activity have changed drastically over the last 50 years. In early grade school, during the Kennedy presidency, physical fitness was a part of our daily routine. Kids were fit because they were active and they were eating home cooked meals. Looking back at the effect of increased hours kids spend in front of the tv/ computer, coupled with the easy availability of packaged and fast food has led to the current sad state of health experienced by many young people today.
Important topic and so much could be said about this…I’ve experienced this in my life and watch for it with my daughter. A healthy weight and acceptance of a range of curves (or lack of curves) is what feels right to me. Every body is unique…
Brandy
Glad you found the info useful Brandy. I’ve really been surprised by the response I’m getting. I don’t have teens so am not directly having to deal with this but it sure did strike a chord with so many.
It is sad the insecurities we all have about our bodies. Working with brides, oh boy do I hear about all types of dissatisfaction whether they’re getting married at 20 or 50! And regardless of the age, it’s amazing the answers and self-doubt are always the same… “I need to loose 15 pounds, I don’t like my hips, I want to hide my mid-section” Somehow the stereotypes and media have shaped a world and culture where those things are important. After dressing brides for 10 years, there’s a style of dress or style of clothing that can flatter any figure. I’ve seen it all and dressed it all for a fabulous wedding day. But the tricks and tips we use can be applied for everyday wear as well. You’ve got to work with what you’ve got and make it fabulous!
I see what you mean, Jennifer Lynn Yu. Working with brides could be VERY intense. I recently attended a style workshop developed by my friend Juliann Stitick which has helped me find the clothes and styles that are most flattering to me now, at my age, nearly 59. Having fun with it!
I have that menopause issue. As time goes on tho I can feel the anxiety lifting. But I’m still considered obese.
Rowena, body dissatisfaction does ease with age and seems to be replaced with the desire to be at the right weight that will support our health, joints etc. Menopause is part of this series on body dissatisfaction. *Menopause and body dissatisfaction* will be addressed *afte*r the next topic where I will discuss *body dissatisfaction during pregnancy.*
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